From Socrates to Arthur Montford, via Bovril, Buckfast and, of course, pies, this is a unique journey through the extraordinary world of Scottish football.

Packed with anecdotes and observations, Andy Bollen wallows in a nostalgic haze, a time of hatchet-men with moustaches, a magic sponge that should have been granted miracle status and big-money strikers who couldn't hit a cow's posterior with a banjo.

Opinionated, forthright and funny, Bollen reluctantly concedes that tattoos, hair weaves and VAR are now part of the game. This idiosyncratic ride through the wonderful absurdity of Scottish football will chime with every fan. 

'A well-researched book that delves into the chaos and madness of the Scottish game'

'Exactly what you'd expect from one of the best writers on Only an Excuse?'

'It's not Hampden Babylon, but it's very funny'

Andy Bollen is a cultural commentator, drummer, gag writer and now football historian. The author of the critically-acclaimed Nirvana: A Tour Diary, the political spoof Sandy Trout: The Memoir, and Labelled With Love. He has written for Chewin’ The Fat, Pulp Video, Naked Radio, Watson’s Wind Up and Des Clarke’s Breaking the News, as well as being a former columnist with The Sunday Mail and The Glasgow Herald. He has contributed to various publications including The Mail on Sunday, Scotland on Sunday and The New York Times and writes material on a freelance basis for comedians and performers. He lives in Coatbridge.