Imagine a world where Wellington boots come with a 24-page instruction manual, or council carers who are prohibited from making tea for OAPs in case they scald themselves on the job. Welcome to Britain in the 21st century, where the Jobsworths now lords it large, issuing edicts of mind-boggling stupidity that ruin the quality of people's lives all in the name of 'elf n safety'. Journalist Alan Pearce has compiled the most outrageous and hilarious (and unfortunately all true) examples. They will make you cringe whilst crying with laughter. Read about the author who was banned from selling his book in case it caused paper cuts; the swings removed from a playground in case children were blinded by the sun while playing on them; an international cycle race banned after worries about urinating cyclists; the risk assessment needed before a local village hall could sell mince pies. You couldn't make it up!

'Very entertaining', Jeffrey Podger, CEO Health & Safety Executive; 'Crazy' Daily Mail;

London born Alan Pearce has worked as a journalist, broadcaster and author for over thirty years. He covered conflicts around the world and was seriously injured covering the Taliban takeover of Kabul in 1996 while working as the BBC Afghanistan correspondent. Not in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that Britain was so full of potential death traps!