Who has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in life only take a quarter of an hour to master?

Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers.

Learn how to become as popular as your dog.

Which sports car suits your personality?

How to work out the date of your death.

Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.

You will find a multitude of information that every genius ought to know. * Bent *

The son of a sex therapist and a sometime Dominican friar, he began his professional career with a number of false starts as a teacher, set designer, doublebass player, speechwriter, printer, toyshop manager, lyricist, wine waiter, City consultant, puppet maker, typographer, magazine editor, bandleader, portrait painter, radio reporter, cartoonist, and ghost writer for Cardinal Hume. Tom has written two acclaimed song books for children and his original ditty 'Pigs on Holiday' has been performed live, with actions, by Martin McGuinness of Sinn Fein. He has written a number of comedy books including A Gentleman's Bedisde Book and 211 Things a Bright Girl/Boy Can Do.