Relationships are the heart of everything we do. Yet too often we think fostering the best collaboration is about the character of the parties involved. In fact the dynamic between people is usually more a property of chemistry than personality. But when we try to build bonds between people, we often overemphasize the ingredients of their personality and underestimate the power of their environments. Although there isn’t a surefire formula for interpersonal chemistry, it has something in common with combustion. It requires fuel, oxygen, and the right source of heat.

My passion for this topic isn’t just professional; it’s personal. As a shy introvert, new relationships haven’t always come easily to me. Over the past two decades, I’ve honed my ability to connect with students as a teacher, leadership teams as an advisor, and strangers as a podcast host. I assumed our most popular episodes would be driven by the quality of the content and the calibre of the guest. Yet the most enthusiastic listener feedback singles out the chemistry between me and the guest. For years, I’ve puzzled over why I vibe with some people but I’m awkward with others.

As a social scientist, as always, I started with the data. After synthesizing the findings, I found stories that animate the key insights. I’ll show you why similarity doesn’t always accelerate solidarity and why frequent interaction is not essential to connection. I’ll reveal the small touchpoints that can have big consequences, what it really takes for teams to click in work and sports, and what constitutes the ingredients for lifelong friendships.

Successful relationships are essential to all of us, and I want to show readers how we can spark, strengthen, and sustain connections in every corner of our lives.

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton, where he has been the top-rated professor for seven straight years. His books have sold millions of copies, his TED talks have been viewed more than 30 million times, and he hosts the hit podcast Re:Thinking. His pioneering research on motivation and meaning has enabled people to reach their aspirations and exceed others' expectations. His viral piece on languishing was the most-read New York Times article of 2021 and the most-saved article across platforms. He has been recognized as one of the world's ten most influential management thinkers and Fortune's 40 Under 40, and has received distinguished scientific achievement awards from the American Psychological Association and the National Science Foundation. Grant received his B.A. from Harvard University and his Ph.D. from the University of Michigan, and he is a former Junior Olympic springboard diver. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife and their three children.