'This week the first pet passports came into effect. Around the country dogs have been hopping into photo booths and trying to look as relaxed as possible, which is not easy when you know you're not allowed on the chair.'

Gathered here are the best of John O'Farrell's newspaper columns for the Guardian and the Independent which saw him win the coveted Best Columnist of the Year Award at the prestigious British Liars Awards. Among many other things, he claims that the only conviction in the Tory Party will be when Jeffrey Archer gets sent to prison; that scientists have created a genetically superior monkey which will advertise lapsang souchong instead of PG Tips; and that with the election of George W. Bush, the global village has finally got its own global village idiot.

Very funny * The Times *

John O'Farrell is the author of seven books. His first book, Things Can Only Get Better, was a number one bestseller and was dramatized for BBC Radio 4. The Best a Man Can Get was the bestselling debut novel of 2002. As well as being a bestselling author, John O'Farrell is a regular contributor to television and radio. For the past five years he has written a weekly humorous column for the Guardian, three collections of which have been published as Global Village Idiot, I Blame the Scapegoats and I Have a Bream.